Wednesday, August 13, 2008

legal gift registry

As the summer winds down and wedding season starts to dwindle, I've been taking some time to reflect. As the number of my single friends & family members is slowly being outnumbered by the married, and as I continue to remain in the ranks of the single, I've seen my attitudes towards weddings & all that comes along with them evolve. The biggest problem I've had with weddings has been the gift registry. Don't get me wrong, I think that it's a great invention for both guests & the married party, but I found myself struggling to cough up money & invest in the lives of my loved ones or having a break down in Target as I tried to decide whether I should get the dishes or the sconce. Not to be a doomsday thinker, but with the average number of divorces as high as it is, it's hard for me to not think that my gift will just cause frustration rather than joy as the two fight over who should get the tea kettle in the settlement.

Now, like I said, as I am slowly becoming the minority in my group of friends and am embarking on my life long journey as the crazy cat lady that just loves her work too much/her students are her children/etc. as my chances of getting married continue to slim down, I think that I should get some gifts. I feel that I am justified in this request because, if you think about it, what is the percentage of this population that graduates law school & gets a j.d. versus the percentage of this population that gets married? It's much rarer to come across someone who achieves higher education than someone who gets married. And really, how many of those who do get married end up getting divorced & married again? My j.d. will last a lifetime once I achieve it. I can decide not to use the j.d., but that doesn't mean that I lose it. I'll still have it. Forever. I think that deserves a present.

When people get REmarried they're most likely going to expect more gifts. I can only get my j.d. once. That means that I'm only expecting you all to get me a present on one occasion, and one only. That benefits you more so that if you have friends that get divorced & remarried.

I like to think of myself as a pretty kind person. Even though I've made it clear that I do not want to be an attorney at a firm, that does not mean that I have not received the same education as those individuals. This also means that I will be capable of helping you all with your legal problems (and who doesn't have legal problems). This will all be pro bono work. I think the least that you could do is to perhaps pay it forward in the form of a kitchen-aid before you even receive my free legal services. Also, let's consider my current state of debt. It's only going to get worse. I'm a single woman trying to get started in this world. At least if you're married there's someone else to help you out. I'm all alone out here, and I will most likely have to use my soul as collateral. Perhaps I'm being a bit elitist here, but I don't know why someone would not want to invest in a bright young woman's future. How bout it, folks?

That being said, I have recently created a "wish list" at skymall.com. If you'd like to take a peak, you're more than welcome. I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I'm just saying, how is receiving a doctorate not as big of a milestone as getting married? I think I have just cause to create a registry just for myself, and if Target tries to say that I have to have 2 people in order to create a registry I'll just sue them.